


xx. toto, i have a feeling we're not in kansas anymore

by tempestaurora



Series: the kids aren't alright [whumptober 2020] [20]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dog-related healing, Dogs, Fluff, Gen, No Apocalypse, Post-Canon, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempestaurora/pseuds/tempestaurora
Summary: “Oh,” Five said as the dog barked twice, its tail wagging. It insisted on licking his face and breathing heavily next to his nose. “Are you lost?” There was no collar or tag, but as Five got a better look, he noticed the dog was a little older. What was once surely a golden coat of fur was now brown and faded, and underneath Five’s hands he felt ribs, all skinny and underfed.“Did someone leave you out here?” Five asked, and the dog barked an answer.Five had never wanted a dog, but he also didn’t believe in looking a gift horse in the mouth. So, he figured he had a dog now.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Mr. Pennycrumb
Series: the kids aren't alright [whumptober 2020] [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930186
Comments: 30
Kudos: 233





	xx. toto, i have a feeling we're not in kansas anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Lost
> 
> this fic came from reading [this post](https://klaus-is-the-real-number-1.tumblr.com/post/629975266401353728/no-thought-only-five-drowning-in-golden-retriever) and the tags by klaus-is-the-real-number-1 on tumblr, and i wrote it like a month ago knowing it wouldn't be seen for many weeks lmao. but we're finally here! just some good, happy dog fluff with no actual whump in sight

Five wasn’t lost. Five didn’t _get_ lost. Five knew where he was at all times.

For example, he knew he was currently in a field. Where Diego had dumped him after a two hour argument about nothing in particular, that maybe Five was pushing because riling up his brother was fun for him. But then Diego had stopped the car abruptly and forced Five out and driven off.

He’d come back, Five knew that.

Possibly, it’d only be a minute or two. Also possibly several hours. He might even make it back into the city before having a change of heart and turning back – Five entertained himself with the thought of him not even being in the field when Diego finally returned.

But then, as he considered how much energy the jump would take him to get home, he heard a noise.

Instantly on alert, Five turned. The grass was waist-high here and probably infested with snakes. He’d kill to see the look on Diego’s face when he returned and found Five dying of a snake bite. Might make his top five hilarious Diego faces.

To his right, the grass shook and Five stepped back warily. Then there was a noise—

A distinctly familiar noise.

Five stepped a little closer and crouched down. “Hello?” he called quietly.

The grass stopped moving and then it shook as a shape darted out into the open. Five stumbled back, falling down as he did so, while the shape leapt into his lap.

Not a shape, actually. No. A dog.

“Oh,” Five said as the dog barked twice, its tail wagging. It insisted on licking his face and breathing heavily next to his nose. “Are you lost?” There was no collar or tag, but as Five got a better look, he noticed the dog was a little older. What was once surely a golden coat of fur was now brown and faded, and underneath Five’s hands he felt ribs, all skinny and underfed.

“Did someone leave you out here?” Five asked, and the dog barked an answer.

Five had never wanted a dog, but he also didn’t believe in looking a gift horse in the mouth. So, he figured he had a dog now.

He was still not-lost, though, and sighed, running his fingers through the dog’s dirty coat. “I guess we’re not in Kanas anymore,” he said as the dog calmed and laid in the dirt by Five’s side. Stroking the dog, he resolved to wait. Diego wouldn’t leave him there forever, and was proven right when, ten minutes later, an engine drew close.

Five looked over towards the road, spotting Diego’s beat up car as it slowed and parked at the edge of the field.

“I thought he’d leave me here longer,” Five told the dog, before standing up and leading it towards the car, where Diego was staring at him.

“Whoa, whoa—what’s that?”

“ _Who’s that,_ I think you mean,” Five said as he opened the back door. The old Golden Retriever jumped up onto the seat. Five shut the door behind him before climbing into the passenger seat. Diego had come back quicker than expected. “His name is Mr. Pennycrumb and he’s my dog now.”

Diego blinked at him, then at Mr Pennycrumb. “He shits in this car, you’re picking it up.”

“Deal,” Five replied.

*  
  


It was Luther that Five took with him to the pet store to pick up all the things Mr. Pennycrumb might need. He’d considered asking Diego to take him, because he had a car, but then Five had seen the look on Luther’s face when the dog entered the mansion, and after that it was clear that Luther needed to spend more time with animals.

So Five took Luther to the pet store, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he would be able to carry everything they bought home.

Whilst Five and Mr. Pennycrumb meandered around the store – Mr. Pennycrumb was old and a rather _slow_ dog – to pick up every item a dog could conceivably need, Five kept Luther in his periphery as he stood over the dog pens and greeted all the puppies. It would be comical, watching Luther’s huge, hulking hands stroke a tiny little puppy if it weren’t for the care and reverence he gave the activity.

In the end, they left with the nicest dog bed and the best brand of food, all the toys and dog bowls and collars and leads a dog could need, and Five didn’t breathe a word of what he saw.

*

Mr. Pennycrumb didn’t seem to care about the dog bed despite the price tag. Five had transformed his bedroom into a safe haven for a dog, and yet that night as he went to bed, Mr. Pennycrumb settled on the wooden floor beside Five’s bed.

Five looked at him in the low lamplight. Mr. Pennycrumb looked back.

Five sighed. “Come on, buddy.” He pulled back his duvet and Mr. Pennycrumb immediately stood and jumped up beside Five on the bed. Five tucked him in before falling asleep with Mr. Pennycrumb’s fur under his fingertips.

*

Five and Mr. Pennycrumb got each other.

It was probably because they were both old. Five knew all about painful hips and bad backs. But the vet Allison found and took them to said that Mr. Pennycrumb was fine, all things considered. He’d need to eat a little more to get his weight back up, and a cream to rub on the small rashes he’d acquired from being outside for so long, but if Five took good care of him, he’d be fine.

So Five was determined to be the best old dog owner in the world.

He needed a project, anyway. Klaus had been more than a little right about Five being addicted to the apocalypse – it was all he’d thought about for so long that now it was all over, Five needed something else to focus his attention on. And Mr. Pennycrumb was a more than willing recipient.

Five researched for hours about feeding and grooming and exercise. He bought the best chew sticks for his dog’s teeth, the most comfortable blankets that he’d drag around the mansion, the tastiest snacks to treat him with.

When he took Mr. Pennycrumb on walks, they’d be slow affairs, and so needlessly long, but Five would carve out several hours for it and head over to the park near their house; somewhere Mr. Pennycrumb could run and play and relax on the grass while Five read a book or Allison set up a picnic.

It was when his siblings came along and laid out blankets and hampers of food Mom had made, and Mr. Pennycrumb was lying in the grass, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, that Five most felt like the world was worth saving after all.

*

The first time he washed Mr. Pennycrumb in the bath, Five got soaked through, shampoo ended up on the ceiling and Klaus cried.

*

Five poured out Mr. Pennycrumb’s kibble into his food bowl before settling on the kitchen tile with his breakfast in his hand. Five ate his cereal as his dog ate beside him, and watched his siblings as they meandered about the kitchen, making food and talking quietly in the morning.

Five had been getting up later than usual recently, but it was only because Mr. Pennycrumb liked to sleep in and Five didn’t want him to wake up alone.

*

After the night he’d stayed late at Vanya’s apartment and had slept on the couch rather than make the walk home, Five had made Vanya install a dog bed in her living room. Her sofa wasn’t big enough for Five and Mr. Pennycrumb, so the dog bed sat beside the sofa, where they could both see each other even in the dark.

And if Five drifted off to sleep during the movie and woke up to find a blanket draped over him and another over Mr. Pennycrumb, sleeping soundly in his dog bed at the foot of the sofa, then that was Five’s business alone.

*

“Good job, old timer,” Five said as Mr. Pennycrumb returned the ball to him.

He watched Diego head for the door, leaving them alone. He waited until his brother was out of earshot, before clasping Mr. Pennycrumb on either side of the face.

“I love you my beautiful boy,” Five cooed. “Who’s a beautiful boy? The best beautiful boy in the whole wide world?” Mr. Pennycrumb barked and wagged his tail. “That’s right, you are! You’re the best beautiful boy in the whole wide world!”

Klaus appeared in the doorway, playing on his phone.

“Yes, very good, Mr. Pennycrumb. Good job, indeed,” Five said.

He threw the ball again.

*

“Five, dear,” Mom said, “dinner’s in twenty minutes. If you don’t stop snacking you won’t be hungry for it.”

Five, who was in the process of lifting his third spoonful of peanut butter directly into his mouth, sighed.

“Fine,” he relented, and lowered the spoon to Mr. Pennycrumb, who licked off all the peanut butter on his behalf.

*

He wasn’t surprised, really, when Luther asked him to go to the shelter with him. Nor was he surprised when Diego volunteered to come with, or when Klaus climbed into the car because he liked car journeys. It was a brothers-only trip to the animal shelter, though Mr. Pennycrumb came along too, and Five was rather certain that had Allison and Vanya been in the mansion, they would’ve come with.

The five of them went to the shelter, and it was at the entrance, when the nice volunteer lady asked what they’d like to see, that Luther suddenly became shy. Which would’ve been laughable to Five had they not been in an animal shelter, fully prepared to acquire a second pet.

So Five said, “Dogs, please,” and the lady led them out the back, to where the dogs all sat in their pens. She introduced Luther to them one by one, while Five and Mr. Pennycrumb watched, and Diego and Klaus made bets about whether Luther would go for something massive or something ridiculously small.

And it was only after Luther had chosen a large St. Bernard (Klaus passed Diego ten dollars) he named Orion, after his favourite constellation he could see from the moon base, and they were heading off to pay the adoption fee did Diego stop outside the room of cats and announce, “Oh, my God, I have to have one.”

*

It was the tiny black cat with only one eye and a penchant for trouble named Cleocatra that Diego picked up and refused to put down. Orion gave her a sniff and didn’t seem to mind, while Mr. Pennycrumb settled by Diego’s side and let Cleocatra climb all over his back.

The trunk of Diego’s car ended up cram-packed with pet supplies after that, while two rather large dogs laid across their laps in the backseat.

*

“I would die for you,” Five whispered to Mr. Pennycrumb as they laid under the duvet in his bed. “I don’t want to have to, of course, so if you would avoid deadly situations I would appreciate it a lot, but I _would,_ in fact, die for you.”

Mr. Pennycrumb made no noise of acknowledgement, just nuzzled up closer to Five.

“Also,” he added, “I saw you hanging out with Vanya today. It’s fine, I’m okay with it, but if you better not like her more than me. I would wither and die, Mr. Pennycrumb. Wither and die.”

*

Luther threw the ball and Orion turned on his heel to chase it. Mr. Pennycrumb watched idly from where he laid across Five’s lap.

“Do you think Orion’s going to bowl over that tiny child?” Klaus asked before stuffing half his sandwich in his mouth at once.

“Nah,” Diego replied. “But one day, absolutely. Dog’s a _tank._ ”

Five watched Orion pick up the ball and start running back. He brushed his fingers over Mr. Pennycrumb’s fur, whose tail wagged through the grass.

Five did not get lost. He always knew where he was. For example, today, he was at the park with his brothers and their dogs.

And today was a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! pretty please talk to me in the comments!
> 
> again, i am a fool who hasn't actually written tomorrow's fic and then also booked up the day with class stuff and a d&d session, so it might get posted particularly late lmao, so bear with!


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